Coming Out

I have a sweet tooth too. It's also genetic. My father and I love chocolate. When it comes to chocolate we speak the same language. Recently, I discovered my brother was one of us too. We haven't lived under the same roof in 20 years so this came as news to me. We were at his place after lunch and he casually walked over to the refrigerator and broke off a piece of chocolate and popped it in his mouth. Then I did the same thing. If my father had been there he would have done the same thing too. Don't get me wrong a piece of chocolate every now and then isn't bad. But looking for a little sweet fix after each meal (including breakfast) is a little different and pattern I want to break.

If I'm honest with myself, I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I was 9 years old when I realized for the first time I was 'fat' or not the norm. Someone told me I was 'fat' and not knowing any better I agreed. I've owned that label for one too many years. Joining this group, committing to following the principles of Weight Watchers and making my health a priority is all apart of me going public with this private struggle. I've been on every diet imaginable but never have I gone public for fear of failure. This is my coming out party.

Here is what I hope to gain from this experience: I want to own this struggle and empower myself to do and be better. Staying fat is choice. I want to make smarter and healthier choices everyday. I want to learn new coping skills to deal with life when it gets chaotic and how to feed my hunger and not numb my pain. I'm done celebrating or soothing with food. I want to create and model a healthier relationship with food for my son. He deserves that and so do I.

Above all I want to reach my potential for being my best self. For me it is not a size or weight that will define my success. I am more than a number. What I care about is what I can do with my body physically and how I feel from day to day. Can I run 12 km? Can I bike 25 miles? Can I chase my son around the park for hours on end? Do I feel positively about my body? Do I have enough energy to get through the day? This is how I will choose to measure my success.

Let's do it.